T’monn put her hand on Matt’s shoulder and smiled as they stood on the deck of the ferry taking them up the coast. “T’mari told me the history of Hiroshima and the war. She also read some of your family history from the same book you gave MJ and the priest. She told me why you took MJ in there alone and then we listened in what the translator recorded. You are a complicated man with a complicated history.”
T’monn let it rest on that for a few minutes as they stared out to sea. “You are a fine storyteller, too. You know how to pass on the words that are important. That will be important to your children. Fathers are the instructors of the young among the V’ren. I was lucky to have W’ren and K’rem as surrogate fathers for my girls, but I know they will both say your children will be lucky to have you as there is no way they could tell them what is important from a human perspective.”
“Thank you,” he said patting her hand, but continuing to stare out at the sea. He tried not to show his own anxiety but knew it showed through as he rubbed his thumb along her fingers. It wasn’t that he was going to be a father next spring it was going to be the father to two sets of twins who were at the same time half siblings and first cousins.
There were arts of his family tree where it looked like damned Christmas wreath and whether or not anyone else knew about the incest during the collapse, he did. It made him cringe. During the collapse Alan Grable Boone Marmaduke had a succession of children with his sister and their resulting daughters. The collapse had made everyone a little weird, but he decided to one up the Pharaohs or Inca. He would have made a Targaryen blush.
“You are cold, you should go in.”
He wasn’t sure how long he had been staring at the sea, but the sun was now down and the moon was up and he was still staring into the wind.
“The stars are beautiful,” L’tani said in better English than he was used to out of her. He listened for the accent to see if he could place who she had been chatting with. “I’m sorry, I will go.”
“Don’t,” he said turning around for the first time in what must have been hours. “You have nothing to be sorry for, unless you wrecked my Porsche while I was gone.”
“I haven’t even,” she started to say then caught the look in his eyes and melted.
“You, don’t love me, and you don’t have to pretend. I have always been expecting I would bond, have my obligatory children, and have nothing more than a passing friendship with my mate as we watched the children grow. That is the V’ren way. I think we could still have that. I would be ok with that.”
“I wouldn’t,” he said raising a hand for her to let him think before he said more.
“You came to me lost and confused. You had a hunger for something that could only be satisfied one way. I could have stopped it several times before it got to a point of no return. I could have shown the restraint I forced myself to show the same restraint I had shown with T’mari. I didn’t want to. I had a hole in my soul. You were trying to fill it and I needed it filled. If I understood what you were going through, I would have shut you down. I didn’t and I am sorry it has caused you problems, but I am still glad I didn’t tell you to go sleep in your own bed when I probably should have.
You are right, I don’t love you. Not yet. I don’t know you well enough to truly love you yet. You have to let me in. You need to open yourself up to hurt to pain to condemnation of others and then trust me with your heart.
My life is a puzzle and now you are a piece in that puzzle. We will have to figure out how your piece fits into the complicated picture that is my life. The real question you need to ask is one of yourself and you need to answer now with honesty. Will you trust me with your heart?”
L’tani wanted to say yes, but knew there was too much quiver in her voice to say even the word yes without stumbling, she just stepped forward trusting his arms to give her what she needed. It was a step made blindly based on nothing but unearned trust, not a lack of trust in Matthew, but in herself.
“I will teach you to trust yourself,” he said, whispering in her ear and holding her until the shivers in her knees stopped and she could hold her own again. “Now, let me teach you something else,” he said in a complicated dance of maneuvering her from front to back while turning them both into the wind.
“You’re not about to do that titanic thing are you,” she asked as hands slid down and grabbed her hips.
“You have been spending time with Beks, that is her favorite movie of all time,” he chuckled, having figured out the mystery.
“She didn’t judge me.”
“Yes, she did, “ he said knowing Beks as well as he did. “it iis obvious she judge you as worthy of her friendship. That is not lightly given.” He said Getting her warm inside his coat before pushing her arms down the sleeves with his.
“You two have a lot in common,” he said resting his chin on her shoulder. Thankfully her pregnancy meant she couldn’t overwhelm him with her pheromones even if she tried. That would be a risky proposition out here on the deck of the ferry considering their last athletic venture. Her pregnancy made it impossible for her to give him a hormonal whammy, but she still smelled good.
“So I discovered. Her mother and mine have much in common.”
“They do,” he said hugging her to him. “You didn’t want the Titanic thing did you?” he asked with a chuckle realizing he couldn’t even if she said yes.
“I have never been on the water before, so no. She said you dislike the movie.”
“I cheer for the iceberg every time,” he said and playfully nipped her ear.
L’tani, wondered if he knew how sensitive a woman’s ears were and that it was a major turn on when he touched her with any part of his body, but most especially his mouth. Part of her wanted to compare notes on human men with her sister, but thought better of it and decided Julia might be a better person to ask later.
“I am going to teach you the constellations.”
Matt placed her hand just under his own, pulled their fingers in save for one and began to trace the first pattern.
“That is Virgo. That is very important, because it is my star sign in the old legends. My birthday is in September. I expect presents for being such a good husband,” he added that last bit and gave her another nip.
“A month or two from now, your constellation, Taurus, would be there and our children’s Aires would be right about there. I will teach them to you when we get home,” he said leaning into her scent as she leaned into his chest. She was beginning to trust. He scanned the sky for a bit longer as the clouds parted
“That one,” he said tracing it out with her fingers, “is Corona Borealis, and the bright star is Alphecca about one hundred light years away,” he said not realizing he was pointing out V’ren’s sun.
He moved on, tracing out Ophiuchus not realizing what awaited the progenitor’s children on Barnard’s Star.
