May 20, 2440
Viví Online 

Matt and T’mari Are Not Hiding

Anyone hoping Matthew Marmaduke and Officer T’mari would become less interesting after leaving Arrow Rock has had a disappointing week.

The two have been seen repeatedly together in Columbia, sometimes working, sometimes eating, sometimes surrounded by enough aides and reporters to make privacy impossible.

Neither appears particularly concerned.

That has renewed speculation about the relationship between the human High Lord and the V’ren officer who has been beside him through much of first contact.

V’ren observers seem considerably less scandalized than human audiences.

Multiple V’ren interviewed this week described the attention as confusing, noting that plural households and complicated family structures are ordinary in their culture.

One V’ren woman summarized the reaction with visible amusement:

“Humans keep asking if they are together. We keep asking why humans care.”

That may change very soon.

Several V’ren social accounts are now hinting that Earth does not know the whole story about T’mari’s family.

Social Media Reactions

Viví Online | May 19, 2440 | Columbia, Missouri

1. @MizzouMara | Columbia, Missouri

THEY WENT TO TARGET TOGETHER. Not a state dinner. Not a press conference. TARGET. She’s wearing a Mizzou shirt and they’re pushing one cart. I am absolutely losing my mind over how normal this is. 💚

• @TigerGirl2440: The Converse. The jeans. The haircut. She looks like she’s lived in Columbia her entire life.
• @ArrowRockAmy: And Matt looks like every Missouri husband who’s been told they’re only going in for three things.
• @NotYourPrincess: A shopping cart is not a marriage certificate, ladies. Please seek employment.
• @NorthParkCarrie: All of Arrow Rock wants to know about when they we will be pushing a stroller…

2. @FirstContactFan | Singapore

On May 5, humanity discovered aliens existed. On May 19, humanity is analyzing whether two people sharing a shopping cart means they’re sleeping together. We are a deeply unserious species. 😂

• @LunaSeoul: The aliens probably expected us to ask about faster-than-light travel.
• @VrenObserver: We did. You asked about their relationship immediately afterward.
• @FirstContactFan: In our defense, LOOK AT THEM.

3. @CoMoCoffeeGirl | Columbia, Missouri

I’ve seen these two around town three times this week. They’re comfortable together. Not performing for cameras, not making some grand romantic display. Just talking and going about their business. Whatever they are, they clearly enjoy each other’s company.

• @RiverRat573: That’s what people keep missing. They don’t seem particularly interested in being watched.
  • @ArrowRockAuntie: When he is performing for the camera, he is usually shirtless and slightly sweaty
• @BostonSocietyWatch: Public figures understand perfectly well when they’re being watched.
  • @ArrowRockAuntie: Sure do, which is why there is usually a deliciously smudged bit of grease on him when you see pics of him rolling out from under heavy machinery
• @CoMoCoffeeGirl: Sure. But nobody’s forcing them to shop together.

4. @HelloKittyHistorian | Tokyo, Japan

May 8: T’mari in a pink Hello Kitty shirt, having dinner with Matt in his kitchen, beer steins on the table.

May 19: T’mari in a University of Missouri shirt, shopping with Matt in Columbia.

I don’t know what’s happening romantically, but her Earth wardrobe is developing a very specific personality.

• @SakuraPop: Someone needs to find out whether she actually likes Hello Kitty or Matt bought that shirt.
  • @Oxana2423: I was part of a very carefully curated wardrobe we put together for her. She can be seen wearing it again aboard ship when she was grabbing coffee during her fleet briefings
• @MizzouAlum: Forget the cat. She’s wearing OUR university shirt. We’ve adopted her.
  • @ArrowRockAuntie: What we want to see as Alum Aunties is her wearing his Mizzou shirt
• @KansasTroublemaker: First contact has been conquered by Japanese cartoon merchandise and Missouri college athletics.

5. @GreenGirlSociety | Seoul, Korea

I’m sorry, but the way her hand is resting on the cart while she’s looking at him? And he’s turned toward her? You cannot convince me these two don’t have something going on.

• @ActualPhotographer: You can photograph two people talking and make it look romantic with almost any timing.
• @GreenGirlSociety: I reject your reasonable explanation.
• @BusanBunny: The entire internet rejects your reasonable explanation.

6. @ColumbiaDad42 | Columbia, Missouri

The most believable thing about these photographs is that a man with enough money to buy half the planet is still pushing a shopping cart full of plastic bags.

• @MidMissouriMom: My husband would have wandered off to electronics fifteen minutes earlier.
• @FreeholdFarmer: Matt’s been doing his own shopping for years. Why would he stop now?
• @LuxuryWatchDaily: Because he could literally have somebody bring the entire store to his house?
  • @MattMarmaduke: Harder to get your picture taken with a green girl that way *SHRUG*

7. @TMarisFanClub | Manila, Philippines

Can we appreciate that T’mari is apparently a military officer, flies spacecraft, speaks to world leaders, and still has time to go shopping in jeans and sneakers? I want her life.

• @QuezonCityGirl: I want her wardrobe and her confidence.
• @OrbitalMechanic: You might want to reconsider wanting her recent life. Her people lost ships and thousands of lives.
  • @KalnarethSurvivor: Many of us lost friends and family, including her. We all hope to find the happiness she’s apparently found here with him.
    • @TMarisFanClub: Fair correction. I meant I admire how she’s handling being on Earth.

8. @SelaVren | V’ren Community Network

I have read seventeen human discussions asking whether T’mari is courting the High Lord. Most of them assume there must be one answer that explains everything. Your relationship categories are remarkably restrictive.

• @ChicagoSocial: You realize humans have plural marriages too, right?
  • @OneAndDone: His cousin Rayya has 5 wives and about 20 kids…
• @SelaVren: Yes. Which makes your public confusion even more difficult to understand.
• @MissouriMaggie: We’re not confused about plural marriage. We’re nosy. There’s a difference.

9. @ThalenOfKalnareth | V’ren Community Network

Why is everyone discussing the shopping cart? Why is nobody discussing the fact that the High Lord apparently has time to shop personally while directing the resettlement of more than a million people?

• @LogisticsNerd: Executives are allowed to buy groceries.
• @ThalenOfKalnareth: Of course. I am simply impressed he has found the time.
• @ColumbiaLocal: Welcome to Missouri. We conduct international diplomacy and then stop for groceries.
• @MattMarmaduke: Maximum Effort!

10. @VrenHouseholdTalk | V’ren Community Network

Human observers keep trying to determine whether Officer T’mari is a colleague, companion, prospective spouse, or member of the High Lord’s household. These are not necessarily mutually exclusive arrangements.

• @LondonObserver: That’s exactly why people are asking. Her position might have political significance.
• @VrenHouseholdTalk: That is a more sensible question than whether sharing a cart proves affection.
• @RomanceRadar: Can we ask both? Because I want to ask both.

11. @RessaAmongHumans | V’ren Community Network

My daughter asked why the humans are surprised that T’mari and the High Lord spend time together. I explained that humans enjoy discussing other people’s households. She asked whether humans have no households of their own.

• @MissouriAuntie: Your daughter would fit right in with my grandmother.
• @RessaAmongHumans: I believe they would enjoy one another.
• @InternetGoblin: Please don’t let the V’ren children discover celebrity gossip accounts. We’re already doomed.
  • @KopHall: We already found the shirtless Matt TikTok accounts

12. @VrenFamilyRecords | V’ren Community Network

The more interesting question is not whether T’mari has become attached to the High Lord. It is how little the human public appears to know about her family.

• @FirstContactLeaks: FINALLY. Someone else noticed the hints coming from V’ren accounts.
• @MizzouMara: What does her family have to do with anything? WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
• @VrenFamilyRecords: It would be inappropriate for me to discuss another household’s private arrangements.

13. @EarthsideAnthropology | University of Missouri

We are watching two cultures interpret the same public behavior through different social expectations. Humans see a possible romantic relationship. V’ren observers appear more interested in household membership, kinship, and status. Neither audience is asking quite the same question.

• @VrenObserver: This is the first human explanation I’ve read today that understands the distinction.
• @ColumbiaGossip: Academics can make absolutely anything sound like a dissertation.
• @EarthsideAnthropology: And yet you’re reading it.

14. @ColumbiaPressWatch | Columbia, Missouri

Viví Online is doing something interesting here. The article doesn’t actually claim Matt and T’mari are romantically involved. It simply collects sightings, cultural reactions, and hints about her family, then lets the audience do the rest.

• @MediaLiteracyNow: That’s how you generate engagement without having to prove anything.
• @VivíReader: They aren’t claiming a wedding. They’re reporting that people are talking.
• @OldSchoolReporter: Which is legitimate entertainment reporting, provided speculation stays labeled as speculation.

15. @BostonPoliticalReview | New England Alliance

A hereditary sovereign whose personal decisions influence the disposition of more than a million extraterrestrial refugees does not have an entirely private romantic life. Potential household relationships are matters of political interest.

• @MissouriFreeholder: You can be politically interested without demanding to inspect his bedroom.
• @BostonPoliticalReview: Succession, household influence, and access to authority are legitimate subjects.
  • @AceMarmaduke: Freehold Succession requires the person to be a Boone-Marmaduke born in Saline County to be eligible for inheritance. Can she have is baby?
• @CoMoLocal: And somehow you reached all those conclusions from a Target photograph.

16. @CCAConstitutionalist | Chicago

Everyone is discussing whether Marmaduke has a girlfriend. I’m more interested in what happens if a V’ren officer becomes part of a sovereign Freehold household. Would that create obligations between the Freehold and the V’ren Trust beyond existing agreements?

• @LegalEagle2440: Potentially, depending on the formal household arrangement and the agreements involved.
• @VrenObserver: You are assuming a personal relationship automatically creates institutional obligations.
• @CCAConstitutionalist: No. I’m asking whether it could. That’s a rather important distinction.
• @ArrowRockWatcher: He is already their High Lord and has a seat on the V’ren Trust Board of Directors. I think we are past the point of asking if there is spillover.

17. @SuccessionLedger | Zurich, Swiss Canton Confederacy

Marmaduke’s succession has been a subject of quiet speculation for years. An acknowledged partner, particularly one associated with the V’ren leadership structure, would naturally renew questions about the future of the Freehold.

• @MarshallResident: He’s forty-two, not ninety-two.
• @SuccessionLedger: Succession planning is considerably more useful before the sovereign dies.
• @TigerGirl2440: The man cannot buy groceries without somebody planning his funeral.

18. @CorporateEyesOnly | Singapore

I suspect the reason certain executives are watching this relationship isn’t romantic curiosity. It’s access. T’mari appears to spend more ordinary time with Marmaduke than most corporate representatives could ever hope to secure through formal appointments.

• @TradeAnalystHK: Informal access is often more valuable than an official meeting.
• @MizzouMara: Or she likes spending time with him. People do that.
• @CorporateEyesOnly: Both things can be true. That’s what makes the situation interesting.
• @MJ_Truthteller: Most executives aren’t as hot as your average green girl…

19. @FirstContactSkeptic | Denver Free Zone

Two weeks ago nobody had heard of this woman. Now she’s supposedly the most important person in the High Lord’s life because somebody photographed her outside a department store. Celebrity culture has survived another apocalypse.

• @ArrowRockAnnie: People have been watching them together for days. This isn’t based on one picture.
• @FirstContactSkeptic: Watching people isn’t the same as knowing them.
• @ColumbiaPressWatch: That’s fair, but the article explicitly calls it speculation.

20. @MizzouAlumniNetwork | Columbia, Missouri

We’d like to know who gave Officer T’mari the University of Missouri shirt. That’s the real diplomatic breakthrough here.

• @TigerPride: She’s representing the Tigers better than half our alumni.
• @KansasBorderWar: Alien civilization travels across interstellar space and immediately makes questionable sports affiliations.
  • @MizzouAlum: Still sore after three and a half centuries, your last NCAA appearances show you getting hammered by Mizzou. History Note: A Marmaduke was a wide receiver for the football team that crushed you 47 to 2. Another marmaduke played point guard that season and scored 50 points on you in one game. The baseball matchup featured a pair of Marmaduke twins: one on the mound throwing a no-hitter and one who homered 4 times before the 7th-inning stretch.
• @MizzouAlumniNetwork: We consider this an extremely promising beginning to interspecies relations.

The Critics, Conspiracy Accounts, and Trolls

21. @NoMoreFreeholders | Chicago

An unelected hereditary ruler gets handed an alien population, surrounds himself with extraterrestrial officers, and the public is distracted by whether his girlfriend looks cute in jeans. Incredible.

• @MissouriFreeholder: He wasn’t handed anything. He agreed to take in refugees when they needed somewhere to go.
• @NoMoreFreeholders: That doesn’t answer the question of accountability.
• @ColumbiaResident: Neither does pretending a Target trip is evidence of a conspiracy.

22. @PureHumanFuture | Anonymous

Amazing how quickly people have decided that human leaders pairing off with aliens is perfectly normal. We don’t even know what these things are biologically.

• @GeneticsStudent: They’re people. You can start there.
• @PureHumanFuture: That’s an emotional response, not scientific evidence.
• @VrenObserver: Your species has spent two weeks examining our biology. Your ignorance is becoming a personal achievement.
• @EllaMurphy: My apartment manager paired off with one the first night.

23. @FollowTheFiat | NorCal

The same guy who suddenly controls alien transportation and construction technology is now publicly parading around with an alien officer. Tell me this isn’t a carefully planned publicity campaign.

• @ColumbiaLocal: Yes, the famous political strategy of buying household supplies at Target.
  • @CarlislePizza: You should see how much pizza they have delivered…
• @FollowTheFiat: Normalizing powerful people through ordinary activities is basic image management.
  • @DukesBar: He has always been abnormally normal; you should have seen him around his late wife. That was the last time we have seen him this happy. We hope he will start doing live music again soon.
• @MediaAnalyst: That is a plausible technique. It doesn’t prove this particular outing was staged.
  • @MattMarmaduke: Carefully planned with Marmaduke Media, which is why they cleared the entire parking lot for 500 news vendors. Wait until you find out she wasn’t impressed with Target’s supply of bath products after traveling 70 light-years.

24. @TargetTruthCommission | Anonymous

WAKE UP. Why is nobody asking what was inside those shopping bags? Alien technology? Classified documents? Supplies for a secret interspecies breeding program? THE CART IS THE STORY.

• @MissouriMom: I’m pretty sure that’s toilet paper and groceries.
• @TargetTruthCommission: THAT’S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK.
• @InternetGoblin: Breaking: High Lord implicated in purchase of laundry detergent. Galactic markets shaken.
• @TargetTroll: Hope no one asks about the home pregnancy test…
  • @FBueller: Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

25. @LastHumanBraincell | London, Great Britannia

Humanity: We have encountered a civilization capable of crossing interstellar distances. Their arrival may transform medicine, engineering, economics, and our understanding of existence.

Also humanity: DO YOU THINK THE GREEN GIRL IS HIS GIRLFRIEND???

• @MizzouMara: YES. NEXT QUESTION.
• @VrenHouseholdTalk: We are beginning to understand why your species produces so much entertainment.
• @LastHumanBraincell: And the worst part is that I’ve spent forty minutes reading these comments. I am part of the problem.

Office of Freehold Management
@FreeholdHR
May 19, 2440

Since there seems to be some confusion about when public speculation concerning High Lord Matthew Marmaduke and Officer T’mari began, we would like to remind everyone of the following:

On May 5, 2440, at precisely 3:09 PM, during the first press conference following the arrival of the V’ren, less than six hours after their damaged spacecraft crash-landed in Mr. Marmaduke’s backyard, a member of the press asked:

“Can you confirm whether the hot green woman who walked down the ramp is your new girlfriend?”

The video briefing ended at 3:11 PM.

The memes started by 3:14 PM.

We would respectfully suggest that anyone describing the current interest in their relationship as a recent development consult the public record.

The speculation has been ongoing since the first afternoon.

We have nothing further to add regarding their personal relationship.

Office of Freehold Management
Public Communications

People Magazine

CELEBRITY NEWS | May 20, 2440

Matt Marmaduke and T’mari Have Been Sparking Romance Rumors Since the Day They Met, and the Freehold Has Receipts

The Freehold has reminded fans that speculation about the human High Lord and the V’ren officer began just hours after first contact.

Matthew Marmaduke and T’mari may be keeping their relationship status private, but apparently the rest of the world has been trying to figure it out since the moment they met.

On May 20, the Office of Freehold Management issued a delightfully dry reminder that romance rumors surrounding the pair are hardly new.

According to the statement, at precisely 3:09 PM on May 5, less than six hours after a damaged V’ren spacecraft crash-landed on Marmaduke’s Missouri property, a reporter asked:

“Can you confirm whether the hot green woman who walked down the ramp is your new girlfriend?”

The briefing ended at 3:11 PM.

By 3:14 PM, the memes had begun.

Fourteen days later, the question remains unanswered, but the photographs keep coming.

On May 8, the pair appeared in a photograph from Marmaduke’s kitchen, where T’mari wore a pink Hello Kitty T-shirt and the two enjoyed dinner with beer steins on the table.

More recently, photographs taken outside a Columbia Target showed them shopping together, T’mari wearing a University of Missouri T-shirt and jeans as the two shared a shopping cart.

The images have delighted fans who see something refreshingly ordinary about a man suddenly thrust into the center of interstellar diplomacy finding time for everyday errands.

For longtime followers of Marmaduke, who lost his wife Amy years ago, the possibility of a new relationship carries particular emotional significance.

Neither Marmaduke nor T’mari has publicly confirmed a romance.

But the Freehold’s latest statement makes one thing clear: whatever their relationship may be, the world has been watching almost from the beginning.

And apparently, it took humanity less than three minutes to turn first contact into a love story.

Reader comments

– @MizzouMara: PEOPLE MAGAZINE HAS DISCOVERED OUR GREEN GIRL. WE’VE GONE INTERNATIONAL.

• @TigerGirl2440: We’ve been following this for two weeks. Welcome to the party.
• @HelloKittyHistorian: I demand a full interview about the pink shirt.
• @MizzouMara: I demand an engagement announcement. We can negotiate the order.

– @ArrowRockAuntie: I’ve known Matthew most of his life. Seeing him smile like that again means more than people outside our community could understand.

• @DukesBar: A lot of us feel that way. Amy was special, and nobody is forgetting her.
• @BostonReader: That’s a lovely perspective. I hadn’t realized he’d been widowed.
• @ArrowRockAuntie: He’s lived a whole life before the rest of the world discovered him.

– @GreenGirlSociety: The fact that their first public relationship rumor happened HOURS after they met is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.

• @CoMoCoffeeGirl: The reporter deserves some kind of award for commitment to gossip.
• @JournalismStudent: Or a lecture about professional priorities.
• @GreenGirlSociety: Both. Definitely both.

– @VrenObserver: I appreciate that this article acknowledges the uncertainty rather than declaring a relationship based on photographs.

• @RomanceRadar: You’re being reasonable again. We’re trying to have fun.
• @VrenObserver: I understand. I am beginning to enjoy your speculation myself.
• @FirstContactFan: WE’RE CONVERTING THEM.

– @MissouriMom: I don’t need to know whether they’re getting married. I just hope she’s finding some happiness after everything her people have been through.

• @KalnarethSurvivor: Many of us feel the same way. She has endured considerable loss.
• @MissouriMom: Then I hope we can give her a good home here.
• @KalnarethSurvivor: You already have.

Page Six

EXCLUSIVE GOSSIP | May 20, 2440

Alien Love Story? Matt Marmaduke’s Own Office Admits the Girlfriend Rumors Started Just Hours After First Contact

The Missouri billionaire and his green-skinned companion have given the internet plenty to talk about, and his communications staff apparently knows it.

Talk about moving fast.

Matthew Marmaduke had barely finished welcoming more than a million extraterrestrial refugees to Earth before someone wanted to know whether he’d already found himself a girlfriend.

And now his own office is reminding everybody exactly how quickly the gossip began.

In a May 19 statement, Freehold officials recalled the extraordinary question posed during the first press conference after a V’ren spacecraft crashed onto Marmaduke’s sprawling Missouri estate.

At 3:09 PM on May 5, a reporter asked whether the “hot green woman” who emerged from the spacecraft was his new girlfriend.

The briefing ended two minutes later.

Three minutes after that, the memes were circulating.

Not exactly the diplomatic breakthrough historians were expecting.

Since then, Marmaduke and the V’ren officer identified as T’mari have become an increasingly familiar pair around Columbia, Missouri.

A photograph from May 8 showed them enjoying dinner in his home kitchen, while newer images capture them shopping together at Target.

T’mari has traded her military appearance for decidedly Earth-friendly casual wear, including a pink Hello Kitty shirt and, most recently, a University of Missouri tee.

Marmaduke, meanwhile, seems perfectly comfortable letting the cameras capture their ordinary excursions.

But don’t expect his staff to satisfy anyone’s curiosity.

The Freehold’s statement pointedly declined to clarify the relationship, observing only that the speculation began on the afternoon of first contact.

For a man whose personal and political decisions suddenly have interplanetary consequences, Marmaduke has managed to keep one question surprisingly unanswered.

Is T’mari his girlfriend?

Fourteen days, countless photographs, and one shopping cart later, we’re still waiting.

Reader comments

– @NYCGossipQueen: I’m obsessed with the fact that the first question about his love life was asked before the aliens had even unpacked.

• @ManhattanInsider: Page Six would have asked it first.
• @NYCGossipQueen: And then asked what designer made her outfit.
• @FashionArchive: Honestly, we still need the outfit information.

– @ColumbiaLocal: You people keep acting like they were hiding. They have been walking around our city in front of everybody.

• @NYCObserver: Being visible doesn’t mean they’re confirming a romance.
• @ColumbiaLocal: I didn’t say it did. I said they’re not hiding.
• @PageSixFan: Which is precisely why we keep getting photographs.

– @SuccessionWatcher: A V’ren woman becoming the partner of a hereditary sovereign is a significantly bigger story than celebrity gossip.

• @BrooklynBystander: You’re discussing dynastic succession under a photograph of a shopping cart.
• @SuccessionWatcher: His heirs determine who controls the Freehold. That’s not a trivial matter.
• @BrooklynBystander: And we still don’t know whether she likes him. One question at a time.

– @HelloKittyHistorian: Page Six needs to understand that her casual clothing is now a major part of first-contact history.

• @MizzouMara: The Mizzou shirt belongs in a museum.
• @KansasTroublemaker: Preferably one dedicated to bad decisions.
• @MizzouMara: Kansas has entered the comments. Everyone remain calm.

– @LastHumanBraincell: The entire galactic community is going to conclude that humanity has only three interests: sex, shopping, and college sports.

• @InternetGoblin: Four. You forgot memes.
• @VrenObserver: We have already noticed.
• @LastHumanBraincell: Please tell your people we also have scientists.

Daily Mail

WORLD NEWS | May 20, 2440

Is This the Green Woman Who Stole the Space Lord’s Heart? Billionaire’s Office Reveals Extraordinary Question Asked Just SIX HOURS After Alien Landing

Matthew Marmaduke and his striking V’ren companion have become the unlikely subjects of a global romance frenzy, but the mystery surrounding her family is only deepening.

He is one of Earth’s wealthiest men, the ruler of a vast Missouri Freehold and now the unlikely High Lord of more than a million extraterrestrial refugees.

She is the striking green-skinned military officer who has scarcely left his side since her people arrived on Earth.

And the world has been asking the same question for a fortnight: Are Matthew Marmaduke and T’mari more than friends?

Now, in a remarkable statement, the Freehold has revealed that the question was first asked less than six hours after a damaged alien spacecraft came crashing down on Marmaduke’s property.

At precisely 3:09 PM on May 5, during humanity’s first press conference following the landing, one journalist boldly demanded:

“Can you confirm whether the hot green woman who walked down the ramp is your new girlfriend?”

The briefing concluded at 3:11 PM.

By 3:14 PM, the internet was already producing memes.

Since that extraordinary afternoon, the pair have been repeatedly photographed together in Columbia, Missouri.

One image showed T’mari wearing a pink Hello Kitty T-shirt while dining with Marmaduke in his own kitchen. Another captured the unlikely couple shopping at Target, where the alien officer sported jeans, trainers and a University of Missouri shirt.

Yet the question remains unanswered.

For Marmaduke, a widower whose Freehold succession carries enormous financial and political consequences, any new relationship could have implications far beyond romance.

Adding to the intrigue, several V’ren social accounts have hinted that Earth’s public knows remarkably little about T’mari’s family.

Exactly what those hints mean remains unclear.

The Freehold insists it has nothing further to add about the pair’s personal relationship.

But after two weeks of public appearances, cheerful photographs and increasingly feverish speculation, the world’s curiosity shows little sign of fading.

One thing is certain: humanity’s first encounter with extraterrestrial life has produced an unexpected celebrity sensation.

Reader comments

– @LondonCalling: Only the Americans could have an alien spacecraft land in someone’s garden and immediately turn it into a celebrity romance.

• @MissouriMaggie: To be fair, it was a very large garden.
• @YorkshireLad: And a rather attractive alien.
• @LondonCalling: Neither of you is helping humanity’s reputation.

– @RoyalWatcherGB: We have spent centuries discussing royal marriages and succession. Why should an alien High Lord be any different?

• @CambridgeHistorian: Because we haven’t established that there’s a marriage to discuss.
• @RoyalWatcherGB: That has never stopped British newspapers before.
• @FleetStreetVeteran: Finally, somebody understands our profession.

– @EssexGirl2440: The headline makes it sound like she’s kidnapped him. They’re buying groceries, for heaven’s sake.

• @DailyMailReader: He’s a billionaire. Why is he doing his own shopping?
• @MissouriResident: Because people who have money still need toothpaste.
• @EssexGirl2440: The most sensible thing anyone has said in this thread.

– @BritishTraditionalist: I find the entire spectacle rather undignified. A sovereign ruler should exercise more discretion in public.

• @ManchesterMum: She’s wearing jeans, not dancing naked in Trafalgar Square.
• @BritishTraditionalist: Appearances are important in positions of authority.
• @ManchesterMum: Apparently being normal is now a constitutional crisis.

– @VrenFamilyRecords: I would advise human commentators against making assumptions about Officer T’mari’s family circumstances.

• @LondonGossip: There it is again. What exactly are we supposed to be missing?
• @VrenFamilyRecords: I have no intention of disclosing another family’s private affairs.
• @FleetStreetVeteran: Excellent. An alien source who knows something and refuses to talk. British journalism has finally reached the stars.