Cal Mercer held the level against the opening for three seconds, took it away, and handed it to D’rez T’resk.
“Tell me what you see.”
D’rez checked the bubble.
Then the other jamb.
Then the head.
She turned the level and checked the first jamb in the other plane.
Cal waited.2ygy8🐇🐏🐹
He was a broad, gray-haired man with sun-browned forearms, battered work boots, and a pencil permanently tucked behind his right ear. He had spent the morning teaching people to hang doors and had already developed the expression of a man reconsidering every choice that had led him to being responsible for several dozen enthusiastic V’ren with power tools.
“The opening is within tolerance,” D’rez said.
“How much?”
“The hinge side varies approximately two millimeters.”
Cal nodded.
“Good opening.”
D’rez looked at him.
“It varies two millimeters.”
“I heard you.”
“It could be better.”
Cal took the level back.
“It could also be on fire. We deal with the problems we actually have.”
Gabriel O’Lee laughed.
D’rez looked at him.
Gabriel stopped.
Cal pointed the level at him.
“Don’t encourage her. I need these doors hung before dark.”
Around them, the new house was alive with finishing work.
Someone upstairs was assembling beds. A powered driver whined in another room. Outside in the alley, a side-by-side went past pulling a household delivery trailer.
The printed structure was already complete.
Floors, walls, utility routes, paint, fixtures.
The remaining jobs were smaller.
There were simply thousands of them.
Cal slapped one hand against the prehung door assembly leaning beside the opening.
“Four people.”
D’rez, Gred Vuhain, Gabriel and Anthony Wittenberg stepped forward.
Krooll Swenid and Staz Vuhain stood behind them.
Cal pointed.
“Three hold. One glues.”
Krooll frowned.
“It requires three people to hold a door?”
Cal looked at him.
“No. You could carry the damn thing around by yourself all afternoon if that entertains you.”
Gabriel grinned.
Cal continued.
“It takes three people to hold the assembly exactly where I want it while the fourth bonds it in place. Strength isn’t the problem. Geometry is.”
Krooll nodded.
“That is sensible.”
“Good. I was hoping we’d get there.”
Anthony was already looking at the powered adhesive gun on the folding table.
Cal followed his eyes.
“No.”
Anthony looked innocent.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You’re looking at it like a sixteen-year-old looking at his first motorcycle.”
“I’m seventeen.”
“That improves nothing.”
Anthony smiled.
Cal picked up the adhesive gun.
“This is structural adhesive formulated for the Wonder Foam and the jamb material. Wonder Foam does not take nails the way timber framing does, so forget nail guns. Forget screws into the wall unless somebody has specifically given you an embedded anchor point.”
He handed the gun to Anthony.
“You glue where I tell you. Not where inspiration strikes.”
Anthony hefted it.
“Got it.”
Cal took it back.
“I didn’t say you could have it yet.”
Staz laughed.
Anthony glared at her.
Cal handed D’rez the level.
“Verify it again.”
Gabriel groaned.
“You’re encouraging her.”
“I’m teaching her.”
“She already checked it.”
Cal looked at him.
“And now she’s responsible for the result.”
D’rez checked the opening again.
Gabriel sighed.
Cal smiled slightly.
“You’ll live.”
They lifted the prehung assembly.
D’rez took the upper hinge side.
Gred took the lower.
Gabriel controlled the latch side.
Anthony stood ready with the adhesive gun.
The jamb slipped into the printed opening with almost no resistance.
Cal crouched.
“Hold.”
He checked the hinge side.
“D’rez, toward me.”
She moved it.
“One millimeter.”
She stopped.
“Good.”
He shifted the level.
“Gred, bottom outward.”
Gred moved.
“Too much.”
She moved back.
“There.”
He checked the latch jamb.
“Gabriel, toward the hall.”
Gabriel adjusted.
“Stop.”
D’rez leaned toward the bubble.
Cal tapped her shoulder with the level.
“Your job is holding.”
“I can see it.”
“That’s the problem. You’re about to start correcting something I haven’t asked you to correct.”
“It is slightly out.”
Cal looked at her.
“It’s about half a millimeter.”
“Yes.”
“Half a millimeter is slightly out.”
“Yes.”
Cal stared at her for a moment.
Then adjusted it.
“There.”
D’rez smiled.
Gabriel shook his head.
“You surrendered.”
Cal pointed at him.
“I picked the faster argument.”
He closed the door until only the reveal remained.
Nearly even.
Cal pointed at the upper latch corner.
“Gabriel, little toward you.”
Gabriel moved.
“Stop.”
The reveal evened out.
Cal opened the door halfway.
It stayed.
He moved it farther.
It stayed.
“Good.”
Anthony raised the adhesive gun.
Cal took it out of his hands.
“I admire the optimism.”
“You said good.”
“I said the door was good.”
He checked everything one more time.
Then handed the gun back.
“Now.”
Anthony pressed the applicator nose into position.
The motor hummed.
A controlled bead emerged.
“Steady,” Cal said.
Anthony moved down the jamb.
“Don’t race it.”
“I’m not.”
“You sped up.”
“I adjusted.”
“You panicked.”
“I did not panic.”
“You’ve got three people standing perfectly still holding a door while you squeeze glue. There is nothing here worth panicking about.”
Staz said, “Perhaps the tool frightens him.”
Anthony looked toward her.
The bead wandered.
Cal caught his wrist.
“Eyes on the glue.”
Staz smiled.
Anthony returned his attention to the jamb.
“Yes, sir.”
“Don’t call me sir. Makes me think someone important walked in.”
Anthony continued.
The bead straightened.
Cal watched the three holding the frame.
“Now you three, this is the part where people get stupid.”
Gabriel said, “That’s encouraging.”
“You get bored. Your nose itches. Your foot hurts. You decide the adhesive has probably grabbed.”
Cal pointed at him.
“You do none of those things.”
Gabriel shifted his foot.
Three people looked at him.
“What?”
D’rez said, “Do not move.”
“My foot is asleep.”
Cal shrugged.
“Let it die.”
Gred laughed.
Anthony nearly did.
Cal tapped the adhesive gun.
“You laugh after you finish the bead.”
They bonded the hinge side.
Then the head.
Then the latch side.
Anthony put the gun down.
“How long?”
Cal checked the cartridge display.
“Until I say.”
D’rez nodded approvingly.
Anthony looked at her.
“You hated that answer five minutes ago.”
“I now know he possesses the exact specification.”
Cal pointed at her.
“She learns.”
After the initial set, he tested the jamb.
“All right. D’rez, ease off.”
She released it.
“Gred.”
Gred stepped away.
“Gabriel.”
Gabriel removed his hands.
The door stayed exactly where they had put it.
D’rez immediately grabbed the level.
Cal did not stop her.
She checked the hinge jamb.
Then the other plane.
Then the top.
Gabriel leaned against the wall.
“Well?”
D’rez closed the door.
Even reveal.
She opened it halfway.
Released it.
Nothing moved.
“It is correct.”
Cal nodded.
“Congratulations. You hung a door.”
Gabriel raised both hands.
“We have mastered Earth.”
Cal snorted.
“You’ve mastered one door. Earth remains undefeated.”
Staz stepped forward and held out her hand.
“Adhesive gun.”
Anthony clutched it.
“No.”
Cal took it from him and handed it to Staz.
Anthony stared.
“You just gave it to her.”
“I did.”
“I did a good job.”
“You did.”
“Then why does she get it?”
“Because there are more doors.”
“That feels unfair.”
Cal pointed toward the hallway.
“There are several toilets downstairs if you need emotional space.”
Anthony surrendered immediately.
Staz tested the trigger.
The motor hummed.
Her face brightened.
Cal looked at Gabriel.
“Don’t.”
Gabriel said, “I wasn’t going to say anything.”
“You were.”
The second door went faster.
The third faster still.
By the fourth, Cal barely spoke.
“Check.”
Level.
“Hold.”
Three people positioned the assembly.
“Reveal.”
Door closed.
“Good.”
Adhesive gun hummed.
“Hold.”
Wait.
“Release.”
Check.
Move.
The crews multiplied through the house.
Cal drifted between them, appearing whenever someone became overconfident.
“Both planes, Krooll.”
“I checked.”
“You checked one.”
Krooll turned the level.
The bubble moved.
Krooll frowned.
Cal nodded.
“Doors enjoy humiliating confidence.”
In another room:
“Staz, less adhesive.”
“More bond is stronger.”
“No. Correct bond is stronger. More adhesive is more adhesive.”
Later:
“Gabriel, stop holding the jamb like it owes you money.”
“I’m barely touching it.”
“You’re bending it.”
“I am not.”
D’rez said, “You are.”
Gabriel sighed.
“Of course you agree with him.”
Cal walked away.
“You’ll thank us when the door closes.”
By late afternoon, nobody needed much instruction.
They were tired.
Their shirts were damp.
Arms ached from holding assemblies motionless.
The adhesive guns were no longer exciting.
Mostly.
Cal stood in the hallway drinking water while another door went into place.
D’rez held upper hinge.
Krooll held lower.
Gabriel held latch side.
Staz ran the adhesive.
Cal watched.
“Top toward D’rez.”
They corrected.
“Good.”
Staz started the bead.
Perfect.
Cal took another drink.
Anthony leaned against the wall beside him.
“You’re not doing anything.”
Cal looked at him.
“That’s the dream.”
“You just stand there?”
“If I teach you properly, eventually I get paid to stand around and criticize.”
Anthony considered this.
“That might be the best job here.”
“It took thirty years to qualify.”
By the last house, even Cal looked tired.
He had lost the pencil from behind his ear and somehow acquired another one.
Nobody knew where it came from.
He stopped counting doors hours earlier.
The crews stopped asking.
Three hold.
One glues.
Hold.
Set.
Release.
Check.
Next.
The final upstairs bedroom needed one more door.
Gabriel and Gred were bringing the assembly from down the hall.
Krooll had gone for another cartridge.
Cal was downstairs checking a bathroom door someone swore was moving on its own.
Anthony sat against the bedroom wall.
Staz sat beside him.
For the first time all day, neither was carrying anything.
Anthony rested his head against the Wonder Foam.
“My shoulders are dead.”
“You have complained about your shoulders since lunch.”
“They got worse.”
“You are weak.”
“I’m human.”
“Yes.”
“That sounded racist.”
Staz smiled.
“I learned that word yesterday.”
“Clearly.”
She bumped her shoulder against his.
Anthony smiled.
“You flirt with everyone you insult?”
Staz looked at him.
“What is flirt?”
“You don’t know flirt?”
“I know the translation. I am asking what you mean.”
Anthony turned toward her.
“When you act like you like somebody but don’t quite admit you like them.”
Staz thought about it.
“That sounds inefficient.”
“It’s fun.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re not sure.”
“That makes it worse.”
“It makes it interesting.”
“Humans are defective.”
Anthony smiled.
“You’ve been flirting with me all afternoon.”
“No.”
“You absolutely have.”
“I have been insulting you.”
“Exactly.”
Staz considered that.
“Then perhaps your word is defective.”
“Also possible.”
The adhesive gun lay between them.
Anthony reached to move it.
Staz reached at the same moment.
Their hands hit.
The gun tipped.
Both grabbed for it.
The motor whirred.
They froze.
Anthony looked at Staz.
Staz looked at Anthony.
Slowly, both looked toward the wall.
Anthony’s gloved right hand was flat against the Wonder Foam.
Staz’s gloved left hand was beside it.
A fresh smear of structural adhesive disappeared beneath both gloves.
Neither moved.
Anthony said very quietly, “Do not pull.”
“I was not going to.”
“You were.”
“Yes.”
They sat there.
Staz started laughing.
Anthony stared at her.
“This is not funny.”
“We are attached to the house.”
“That is why it is not funny.”
“That is exactly why it is funny.”
He lasted three seconds before laughing too.
Gabriel appeared in the doorway carrying one end of the final door.
Gred carried the other.
Both stopped.
Gabriel stared.
Anthony and Staz sat shoulder to shoulder against the wall, one hand each glued beside the other.
Gred slowly lowered her end of the door.
Gabriel said, “How?”
Anthony looked at Staz.
Staz looked at Anthony.
Neither answered.
Gabriel spotted the adhesive gun.
“Oh.”
“It was an accident,” Anthony said.
“Completely,” Staz added.
Gabriel looked at the two of them.
“Sure.”
Gred covered her mouth.
Staz said, “You do not believe us.”
“No.”
Footsteps came up the stairs.
Cal appeared behind Gabriel.
“What stopped?”
Gabriel moved aside.
Cal looked into the room.
He stared at Anthony.
Then Staz.
Then their hands.
Then the adhesive gun.
He closed his eyes.
Nobody spoke.
Cal opened them again.
“Tell me those are gloves.”
Anthony raised his free hand.
“Gloves.”
“Both of you?”
Staz nodded.
Cal exhaled.
“Good.”
He stepped into the room.
“Do not pull.”
Anthony stared at him.
“We figured that part out.”
“Given the decisions that brought us here, I’m confirming everything.”
Gred started laughing.
Cal crouched and examined the adhesive without touching it.
“I’ll get the release compound.”
Staz leaned back against the wall.
“Can we finish the door first?”
Cal looked at her.
“You’re glued to the wall.”
“My other hand works.”
Anthony started laughing again.
Cal stood.
“No.”
He pointed at both of them.
“You two are done.”
Anthony glanced at his hand.
“I had reached that conclusion.”
Cal turned toward the door.
Gabriel said, “I told Krooll it was a human courtship ritual.”
Anthony groaned.
Staz looked interested.
Cal stopped.
Slowly, he turned back.
“No.”
Gabriel smiled.
“No?”
“No. I have spent all day teaching aliens how humans install doors. I am not spending tomorrow explaining that we glue prospective mates to buildings.”
Gred folded against the doorframe laughing.
Staz looked at Anthony.
“Prospective mate?”
Anthony turned red.
Cal saw it.
He looked at Staz.
Then at Anthony.
Then at their hands glued neatly side by side.
His expression changed.
Not much.
Just enough.
“Oh, hell.”
Anthony said, “Cal.”
Cal held up a hand.
“I don’t want to know.”
“You clearly do.”
“I absolutely do. That is why I don’t want to know.”
Staz smiled at Anthony.
Cal shook his head and headed for the stairs.
“Release compound. Then both of you go eat something before you become permanently incorporated into the house.”
Gabriel called after him.
“What about the last door?”
Without turning around, Cal shouted back.
“Three hold, one glues!”
Gabriel looked at Gred.
Gred looked at Krooll, who had just arrived with the new adhesive cartridge.
Krooll looked at the two people attached to the wall.
He blinked.
“Why are they attached to the wall?”
Anthony closed his eyes.
Staz began laughing again.
Gabriel picked up his end of the door.
“Long story.”
Krooll looked at Cal disappearing down the stairs.
“Is this normal?”
Cal’s voice came back from below.
“No!”
Outside, another side-by-side rattled through the alley.
Somebody shouted for a refrigerator crew.
Downstairs, a newly hung door opened and remained precisely where it was left.
After a full day of putting a city together one careful piece at a time, Anthony and Staz had managed to become the only things Cal Mercer had installed somewhere they did not belong.
