Marmaduke Media Archive Transcript
Tokyo, Japan
Recorded: June 4, 2440, 5:30 PM JST
Scheduled Broadcast: June 4, 2440, 8:00 PM JST
Format: Studio panel / youth special
Archive copy: Full recording transcript with production notes, stage direction, audience response, and selected camera cues retained.
Host: Hiro Tanaka
Japanese Panelists: Daichi Nakamura, Shun Kobayashi, Noa Fujimoto, Emi Sato, Rika Mori
Guests: MJ Reyes, Kevin Wood, Maja Zhang, Rita, Chem, Sael, D’stan, Y’kem
[OPENING MUSIC]
[WIDE SHOT: Studio audience applauding. Main screen displays a stylized Earth beside a V’ren ship, then transitions to footage recorded earlier that afternoon of a T-24 settling onto the studio rooftop.]
[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE BUILDS]
HIRO:
Three hours ago, most of our guests had never been to Tokyo.
[Screen shows MJ stepping from the shuttle onto the rooftop, followed by Kevin and the others.]
HIRO:
Two and a half hours ago, they had never been inside this studio.
[Cut to backstage footage of Chem sitting in hair and makeup with his hair standing considerably higher than normal.]
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
And approximately two hours ago, some of them learned that Japanese television professionals are willing to fight a determined battle against alien hair.
[CHEM, already seated offstage, can be heard saying something indistinct.]
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
Tonight, we decided not to interview diplomats.
Not scientists.
Not soldiers.
Not High Lords.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE]
HIRO:
We have enough television programs doing that already.
Tonight, we have the people who keep appearing behind all of them and somehow causing more trouble.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
[MAIN SCREEN: TOKYO, TAKE TWO]
HIRO:
Please welcome MJ Reyes, Kevin Wood, Maja Zhang, Rita, Chem, Sael, D’stan and Y’kem!
[MUSIC STING]
[Guests enter.]
[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE, several cheers]
[MJ waves immediately. Maja gives the audience an exaggerated two-handed wave. Kevin bows, realizes MJ has not bowed, hesitates, then continues walking. Rita gives a smaller bow. Sael follows Kevin’s example. D’stan looks toward the upper audience rows before taking her seat. Chem waves at someone who shouted his name. Y’kem raises one hand briefly.]
[Guests take their places on the curved sofa and chairs opposite the panel.]
HIRO:
Welcome to Tokyo.
MJ:
Thank you.
MAJA:
We have seen almost none of it.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
You have been here two and a half hours.
MAJA:
Exactly. Terrible hospitality.
MJ:
We landed on your roof.
HIRO:
That is premium service.
KEVIN:
I liked it.
HIRO:
See?
Kevin understands Japan already.
MJ:
You can keep him.
KEVIN:
My father will want a receipt.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
We will send one.
[Camera cuts to Kevin, who gives a small thumbs-up.]
HIRO:
Before we start, I have been told there is already a disagreement backstage about what we should call everyone.
MJ:
That’s because there are eight of us.
HIRO:
We were given titles.
MJ:
Oh no.
HIRO:
And descriptions.
MJ:
Even worse.
HIRO:
MJ Reyes, page to the High Lord.
MJ:
Technically.
HIRO:
Student, athlete, social-media menace.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
MJ:
That last one isn’t an official job.
MAJA:
Yet.
HIRO:
Kevin Wood, Amazon cadet, shuttle crewman, son of General Leonard Wood.
KEVIN:
Chief of staff now.
HIRO:
Already correcting television hosts.
KEVIN:
MJ is a bad influence.
MJ:
You were like this when I met you.
HIRO:
Maja Zhang.
[Maja sits straighter.]
HIRO:
Skater, runner, media representative, professional internet combatant.
MAJA:
That one I accept.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
Rita.
RITA:
Just Rita is fine.
HIRO:
Which our producer tells me was approximately your response when he asked how you wanted to be introduced.
RITA:
It worked.
HIRO:
Chem, Sael, D’stan and Y’kem, four of the young V’ren who have gone from arriving on another planet to appearing on Japanese television in one month.
CHEM:
I was promised food.
HIRO:
Did you receive food?
CHEM:
Yes.
HIRO:
Then our obligations are complete.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
CHEM:
I like Japan.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
HIRO:
Let us start with something simple.
You arrived this afternoon. What is your first impression of Tokyo?
Y’KEM:
There are too many people.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
You came from a ship carrying more than one hundred thousand people.
Y’KEM:
The ship had walls.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE]
MJ:
He said almost the same thing coming in.
Y’KEM:
Because it remains true.
HIRO:
Chem?
CHEM:
I like the trains.
HIRO:
You haven’t ridden one yet.
CHEM:
I like looking at the trains.
HIRO:
That is acceptable.
SAEL:
I like the roofs.
EMI:
The roofs?
SAEL:
There are gardens everywhere. Humans put plants in places where plants should not be.
MAJA:
That’s pretty much humanity.
SAEL:
I am beginning to understand this.
HIRO:
D’stan?
D’STAN:
I have not seen enough yet.
HIRO:
Very diplomatic.
D’STAN:
No. Accurate.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
Rita?
RITA:
Everything runs with a level of visible coordination I appreciate.
MJ:
She means nobody has lost our bags yet.
RITA:
Also that.
HIRO:
Maja?
MAJA:
Your hair and makeup people are terrifying.
[LOUD AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
[Cut backstage still of Maja surrounded by production staff.]
MAJA:
I sat down looking like myself. Twenty minutes later I looked like myself after somebody had spent an unreasonable amount of money making it happen.
RIKA:
That is television.
MAJA:
I respect the craft.
HIRO:
Kevin?
KEVIN:
I expected it to feel more foreign.
SHUN:
And it doesn’t?
KEVIN:
It does, but not in the way I expected. There are things I don’t understand, then somebody opens a convenience-store wrapper or complains about work and suddenly everybody is just people again.
[AUDIENCE MURMURS APPROVINGLY]
MJ:
That was almost profound.
KEVIN:
I had one ready this time.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
MJ?
MJ:
I am mostly trying not to embarrass several centuries of my ancestors before dinner.
HIRO:
Are you succeeding?
MJ:
Ask me tomorrow.
PANELIST QUESTIONS
HIRO:
Our panelists have been watching all of you since the first broadcasts from Missouri.
They were each allowed questions.
I was specifically told I was not allowed to protect you from them.
MJ:
That seems fair.
HIRO:
Daichi, you first.
DAICHI TO THE GROUP
DAICHI:
If you could make a meme of Earth, what would it be?
[Several guests begin laughing before anyone answers.]
CHEM:
Lady T’mari with an I Can Has Cheezburger sign.
[HALF-SECOND SILENCE]
[AUDIENCE ERUPTS]
[MJ folds forward laughing. Kevin covers his face. Maja claps.]
HIRO:
Why?
CHEM:
Because it would annoy her.
MJ:
That is a complete explanation.
DAICHI:
Would she understand it?
CHEM:
Eventually.
KEVIN:
Which makes it better.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
Lady T’mari, if you are watching tonight, this program accepts no responsibility.
SHUN TO MJ
SHUN:
May I ask, what has it been like growing up part-Japanese in Missouri?
MJ:
I don’t know. The Freehold, and Arrow Rock in particular, are my entire cultural identity. The most Japanese thing about me is watching helplessly as white people call every noodle dish ramen. Part of my mission during this trip is to teach these two,
[jabs Kevin and Y’kem with her elbows]
the difference between udon and soba.
[Y’kem shifts away from MJ.]
KEVIN:
Violently.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
SHUN:
You don’t identify strongly as Japanese?
MJ:
It is part of me. It isn’t all of me. My family came from here a very long time ago. I don’t want to show up and pretend that makes me somebody who grew up here.
[Audience quiets.]
MJ:
But if you put ketchup on soba I will still judge you.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
SHUN:
That sounds Japanese enough for tonight.
NOA TO KEVIN
NOA:
You seem very composed. What gave you the confidence to join this panel?
KEVIN:
Honestly? I’m used to being underestimated. I grew up in Boston, not on a farm, even though people assume that. So I learned early to stay quiet… until I’m ready to say something that matters. I can confidently say, under the tutelage of her,
[returns MJ’s elbow with one of his own]
the difference between teriyaki and yakitori.
MJ:
I’m so proud.
KEVIN:
She gets emotional.
MJ:
I may cry.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
NOA:
Do people really assume you grew up on a farm?
KEVIN:
Since Missouri, yes.
MAJA:
He owns shoes without mud on them. We noticed immediately.
NOA TO MJ
NOA:
You often speak for the group without being asked. Do they let you, or do you just do it anyway?
MAJA:
She has always done it. We have been in school together since we were 8 & 9 and she has always been this way.
MJ:
I don’t mean to take over, but when no one stops me…
NOA:
So you two were friends first?
MJ:
God no, she is one of those stuck up Marshall girls.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
MAJA:
I resemble that remark. We also have civilization in the city along with running water and indoor plumbing.
[MJ puts a hand dramatically over her heart.]
MJ:
Marshall propaganda.
MAJA:
Arrow Rock has goats.
MJ:
We have many things besides goats.
KEVIN:
Name three.
MJ:
Shut up.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE]
EMI TO SAEL
EMI:
What was the most surprising thing about Earth food?
SAEL:
Not all of it makes sense. But I’ve learned it doesn’t have to. Taste comes first, not theory. Thanks to MJ, I’ve learned to eat much of it with chopsticks, including tater tots and Cheetos.
[Audience reacts with a mixture of laughter and impressed noises.]
EMI:
Cheetos?
SAEL:
Yes.
EMI:
With chopsticks?
SAEL:
Your fingers remain clean.
[Audience applauds.]
MJ:
See? Civilization.
MAJA:
You have created a monster.
SAEL:
I am efficient.
RIKA TO D’STAN
RIKA:
You have such a strong gaze, how do you stay so calm on camera?
D’STAN:
By remembering that your camera is not sharper than my aunt.
[RIKA freezes for a moment.]
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
RIKA:
Should I be afraid of your aunt?
D’STAN:
Probably not.
RIKA:
That pause was unnecessary.
D’STAN:
It was accurate.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
RIKA TO Y’KEM
RIKA:
What has been the hardest part of this trip for you personally?
Y’KEM:
Earth is loud. Socially, I mean. People expect your whole body to smile. I’ve never been good at that. But I like the sky here. It leaves plenty of room to avoid sharp elbows.
[Looks deliberately toward MJ.]
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
MJ:
One elbow.
Y’KEM:
Today.
MJ:
The day is young.
Y’KEM:
That is my concern.
SHUN TO MAJA
SHUN:
You move like someone who trusts their body more than most people your age. Where does that come from?
MAJA:
I dislike faceplanting. There is real incentive to not walk away from anything bleeding and broken, whether it is skating or an internet fight someone else picks with you.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
SHUN:
Are those really the same skill?
MAJA:
Commitment helps both.
MJ:
Also knowing when you’re about to hit concrete.
MAJA:
Internet concrete hurts longer.
NOA TO MAJA
NOA:
Some of them feel very trained. You feel different. Do you follow rules, or do you follow instinct?
MAJA:
I took this role because the guy who offered me the job said being me was enough. What you see is what you get.
MJ:
You go girlfriend!
[Maja turns slowly toward MJ.]
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
MAJA:
Never do that again.
MJ:
No promises.
NOA:
Who offered you the job?
MAJA:
Matt.
NOA:
MAJA:
Yeah.
NOA:
What did he tell you the job was?
MAJA:
Pretty much this.
[Gestures toward cameras, panel and audience.]
MAJA:
Be yourself, answer what you want, tell people when they’re being stupid.
HIRO:
That is the whole job?
MAJA:
He said there would be paperwork.
HIRO:
There is always paperwork.
DAICHI TO MAJA
DAICHI:
You’re standing next to nobles and future leaders. Do you feel like you belong here, or are you just better at the job?
[Audience quiets.]
MAJA:
If I believed I was somehow less than people because they come from wealth or have important parents I would be a fragile ball of nerves who was never able to leave home.
[Small burst of applause becomes broader applause.]
[Maja looks faintly surprised by it.]
DAICHI:
So you belong.
MAJA:
I am sitting here.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE]
RITA
HIRO:
Noa.
NOA:
I have been waiting for these.
RITA:
That is reassuring.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
NOA TO RITA
NOA:
You seem very composed. Are you always this calm, or is that something you learned?
RITA:
Glad you think I look calm. I am more used to social gatherings of the rich and important than anyone but Kevin, but I am not used to being put on display or having the media dissect everything I say, don’t say, or even look like I want to say. You might look calm, but you are never calm when you are worried the media is going to have five hundred articles wondering about whether I get enough fiber because I looked towards the door that leads to the bathroom.
[Audience bursts into laughter.]
[Y’kem lifts one finger.]
Y’KEM:
I am avoiding dairy on this trip for exactly that reason.
[LOUDER LAUGHTER]
[Kevin drops his head. MJ is laughing hard enough to wipe one eye.]
HIRO:
I promise this program will not investigate anyone’s fiber intake.
RITA:
Thank you.
HIRO:
Other programs may be less honorable.
RIKA TO RITA
RIKA:
You watch more than you speak. What are you usually noticing that the rest of us miss?
RITA:
That most of you normally have more interesting lives than I do.
RIKA:
I don’t believe that.
RITA:
That’s because you’re interviewing me.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
RIKA:
What do you watch when you enter a room like this?
RITA:
Who everyone else watches.
[Brief pause.]
RIKA:
That is a very different answer.
RITA:
It usually tells you more.
DAICHI TO RITA
DAICHI:
You come from a very structured world. Is this the first place you’ve actually felt equal?
[The energy in the studio changes noticeably. Rita takes a moment before answering.]
RITA:
Structured, yes. Kevin and I have talked about this but in the high end prep schools of London and Boston there are no equals, even when we want to be treated as such. You are ranked by everyone else even when you aren’t ranking yourselves.
[Camera holds on Rita.]
RITA:
I don’t know that I actually feel equal to anyone here. Maja was picked because she has a voice that says I am important whether you think so or not. Now that he has outed himself MJ is goddaughter to one of the richest men in the world and certainly the most influential right now. Kevin is the son of that man’s chief of staff. D’stan is the granddaughter and cousin to two of the most influential V’ren.
[Audience completely quiet.]
RITA:
There isn’t anyone in this group I feel equal too, much less superior to.
[Camera moves briefly to Kevin.]
KEVIN:
Despite what she said about me, the same.
[Several seconds of quiet.]
HIRO:
That may be the first answer tonight where nobody here knew whether to applaud.
RITA:
That is probably appropriate.
HIRO:
Does that bother you?
RITA:
Sometimes.
HIRO:
Does being with them make it better?
RITA:
Yes.
[Looks down the line.]
RITA:
Because I don’t think any of them are ranking me.
MAJA:
I rank you.
[Rita looks over.]
MAJA:
You’re above Kevin.
[AUDIENCE EXPLODES INTO LAUGHTER]
KEVIN:
What did I do?
MAJA:
You know what you did.
KEVIN:
I genuinely don’t.
MJ:
That probably makes it worse.
[Applause returns with the laughter.]
HIRO:
And we are safely back.
WHAT EARTH GETS WRONG
HIRO:
I want to change direction.
All of you have spent the last month watching adults argue about what your lives mean.
CHEM:
Yes.
HIRO:
That was fast.
CHEM:
Adults enjoy explaining us.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
What is something Earth keeps getting wrong about the V’ren?
CHEM:
That we agree with each other.
SAEL:
Definitely that.
D’STAN:
Humans learn one thing about us and immediately build a wall around it.
Y’KEM:
Then another human learns a second thing and they fight about which wall is correct.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
Can you give me an example?
D’STAN:
Caste.
[Studio becomes quieter again.]
D’STAN:
Some humans hear that we have caste and decide every V’ren loves it. Others hear one V’ren criticize it and decide it is already gone.
SAEL:
Neither is true.
CHEM:
It is something we grew up inside. That does not mean we all experience it the same way.
HIRO:
And what do V’ren get wrong about humans?
CHEM:
How do you know which answer you want?
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
Your favorite.
CHEM:
Humans pretend rules do not exist if nobody wrote them down.
[Immediate audience reaction.]
MJ:
Oh, he’s been saving that one.
CHEM:
You have castes.
HIRO:
We do?
CHEM:
Yes.
CHEM:
You just become offended when someone calls them castes.
[Audience murmurs.]
RITA:
He’s not entirely wrong.
KEVIN:
He’s not even slightly wrong.
HIRO:
Maja?
MAJA:
People love pretending popularity, money, family, beauty, school, neighborhood and who your parents know don’t rank you.
She gestures toward Rita.
MAJA:
Rita just explained the same thing without insulting the entire planet.
CHEM:
I am learning efficiency from Sael.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
RAPID QUESTIONS
HIRO:
Before the audience gets its chance, we have rapid questions.
MJ:
That sounds dangerous.
HIRO:
You have three seconds to answer.
MJ:
That’s definitely dangerous.
HIRO:
Favorite Earth food so far.
CHEM:
Catfish.
SAEL:
Cheetos.
D’STAN:
Steak.
Y’KEM:
Pizza.
HIRO:
Kevin?
KEVIN:
Am I allowed to say sushi while sitting in Tokyo?
HIRO:
Yes.
KEVIN:
Sushi.
MJ:
Coward.
HIRO:
MJ?
MJ:
Biscuits and gravy.
[AUDIENCE GROANS PLAYFULLY]
MJ:
I didn’t say Japan had to win.
HIRO:
Maja?
MAJA:
Dumplings.
HIRO:
Rita?
RITA:
Chocolate.
HIRO:
Most confusing human habit.
CHEM:
Ties.
SAEL:
Neckties?
CHEM:
All ties.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
D’STAN:
Apologizing when someone else steps on your foot.
Y’KEM:
Small talk.
KEVIN:
Social media.
MJ:
You are on social media.
KEVIN:
Exactly.
MAJA:
People reading comments and then being surprised they’re angry.
RITA:
Pretending not to care what other people think.
HIRO:
Thing you most want to do in Tokyo.
SAEL:
Eat.
CHEM:
Cats.
MJ:
He means visit cats.
CHEM:
Obviously.
[Beat.]
CHEM:
Mostly.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
D’STAN:
Walk somewhere without a schedule.
Y’KEM:
Find somewhere quiet.
HIRO:
In Tokyo?
Y’KEM:
I was told it exists.
HIRO:
Technically.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
KEVIN:
Baseball.
[AUDIENCE CHEERS]
MJ:
Food.
MAJA:
Skate.
RITA:
Shop without somebody turning it into geopolitical analysis.
[Audience laughs and applauds.]
AUDIENCE QUESTIONS
HIRO:
Now we make the mistake every television producer fears.
We give the audience microphones.
[AUDIENCE CHEERS]
[A production assistant reaches a young woman in the second row.]
AUDIENCE QUESTION 1
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
This is for MJ and Kevin.
[Immediate reaction from the studio.]
MJ:
Oh no.
KEVIN:
Why did everyone do that?
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
Are you dating?
[AUDIENCE ERUPTS]
[MJ drops her face into both hands.]
[Kevin leans back and stares at the ceiling.]
MAJA:
Japan!
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
I had nothing to do with this.
MJ:
No.
KEVIN:
No.
[Beat.]
MJ:
Very no.
KEVIN:
Do you need to say it like that?
MJ:
Would you prefer ambiguity?
KEVIN:
No.
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
But you act like a couple.
MJ:
We act like siblings who aren’t related enough to be required to like each other.
KEVIN:
That is disturbingly accurate.
Y’KEM:
She hits him more than she hits me.
MJ:
Because he deserves it more.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
AUDIENCE QUESTION 2
[A middle-aged man receives the microphone.]
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
For the V’ren guests. What is one human thing you want to take home someday?
SAEL:
Chopsticks.
EMI:
You already had eating utensils.
SAEL:
Not these.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
CHEM:
Cats.
MJ:
There it is.
D’STAN:
Music.
Y’KEM:
Windows.
HIRO:
Windows?
Y’KEM:
Large ones.
He glances toward the studio screens.
Y’KEM:
We spent too long inside ships.
[Audience softens noticeably.]
HIRO:
That is a good answer.
AUDIENCE QUESTION 3
[A teenage boy stands.]
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
Maja, I follow you.
MAJA:
I’m sorry.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
Do the comments ever scare you?
[Maja’s expression changes.]
MAJA:
Sometimes.
[Audience quiet.]
MAJA:
Not usually the ones calling me names. Those are easy.
It is the people who seem completely convinced they know who you are from thirty seconds of video.
She shrugs.
MAJA:
You learn that most of them are talking to a version of you that exists in their own head.
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
How do you ignore it?
MAJA:
I don’t always.
MJ:
None of us do.
MAJA:
But I have people who know the actual me. Their votes count more.
[Audience applause.]
AUDIENCE QUESTION 4
[A young girl, perhaps twelve or thirteen, takes the microphone.]
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
D’stan, do you want to be important when you grow up?
D’STAN:
No.
[Audience laughs.]
D’STAN:
But I probably will be.
[More laughter.]
HIRO:
That sounded very certain.
D’STAN:
My family makes it difficult to disappear.
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
What do you want?
[D’stan thinks.]
D’STAN:
To be useful enough that being important is not the most interesting thing about me.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE]
Maja points toward D’stan.
MAJA:
See? That’s why she gets invited places.
AUDIENCE QUESTION 5
[A woman in the upper section.]
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
Rita, after what you said earlier, what would make you feel equal?
RITA:
I don’t know.
[She thinks longer.]
RITA:
Maybe enough time together that I stop remembering who everybody’s parents are.
KEVIN:
That happens.
RITA:
Your father is a general.
KEVIN:
I forget sometimes.
RITA:
You have never once forgotten.
KEVIN:
Fine.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
RITA:
I think equality is probably something you do, not something somebody announces.
[Audience applause.]
THE GROUP
HIRO:
Last question from me.
You have all been dropped into something none of you expected.
Some of you knew one another before May.
Some of you did not know Earth existed.
What are you now?
MJ:
Tired.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
I deserved that.
KEVIN:
A team, I guess.
MAJA:
That’s disgustingly wholesome.
KEVIN:
You have a better answer?
MAJA:
No.
SAEL:
Friends.
CHEM:
Mostly.
D’STAN:
Chem is worried saying it will make us hug.
CHEM:
Correct.
MJ immediately reaches across Y’kem toward Chem.
CHEM:
No.
[MJ makes exaggerated grabbing motions.]
CHEM:
Absolutely not.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
Y’KEM:
I will help him.
MJ:
Traitor.
Y’KEM:
Survival.
HIRO:
Rita?
RITA:
I think Kevin is right.
KEVIN:
Can somebody save that recording?
RITA:
Do not make me retract it.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
Maja?
MAJA:
We are eight people who had no business ending up in the same room.
She looks down the line.
MAJA:
Now it would be weird if somebody wasn’t there.
[Audience gives a collective soft reaction.]
MJ:
That was disgustingly wholesome.
MAJA:
Shut up.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
I think that gives us our answer.
CLOSING
HIRO:
They arrived in Tokyo at three o’clock this afternoon.
They landed on our roof.
We attacked them with makeup.
We fed some of them.
We learned that Earth is too loud, Cheetos should apparently be eaten with chopsticks, social class exists even if humans become irritated when aliens notice, and nobody on this sofa is dating Kevin Wood.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
KEVIN:
Why am I the conclusion?
HIRO:
Because television requires closure.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
HIRO:
MJ Reyes.
MJ waves.
HIRO:
Kevin Wood.
Kevin bows from his seat.
HIRO:
Maja Zhang.
Maja raises both hands.
HIRO:
Rita.
Rita smiles and gives a small wave.
HIRO:
Chem, Sael, D’stan and Y’kem.
The four V’ren acknowledge the audience in varying degrees.
HIRO:
Thank you for giving us your first afternoon in Tokyo.
MJ:
You haven’t given it back yet.
HIRO:
We have restaurants.
MJ:
Acceptable.
HIRO:
Good night.
[MUSIC UP]
[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE]
[MAIN BROADCAST CAMERA PULLS WIDE.]
[ON-AIR RECORDING ENDS.]
POST-ROLL ARCHIVE MATERIAL
[Broadcast ending graphic clears from studio monitors. Audience applause continues.]
HIRO removes his earpiece.
HIRO:
You survived.
Y’KEM:
Is it over?
FLOOR MANAGER:
Yes.
Y’KEM visibly relaxes.
MJ immediately turns toward him.
MJ:
Your whole body just changed.
Y’KEM:
Yes.
MJ:
You were nervous.
Y’KEM:
I told you Earth is loud.
KEVIN:
She’ll use this against you forever.
Y’KEM:
I know.
[Audience members still leaving begin laughing as they overhear.]
CHEM:
When do we see the cats?
MJ:
Oh my God.
CHEM:
This was the agreement.
HIRO:
There was an agreement?
CHEM:
I was promised Tokyo cats.
MAJA:
He has been keeping count.
CHEM:
Yes.
HIRO:
How many cats have you seen so far?
CHEM:
Zero.
He looks directly toward the nearest remaining camera.
CHEM:
This is unacceptable.
[Audience members nearby laugh.]
MJ:
Bob is going to be pissed.
CHEM:
Bob does not control me.
MJ:
You keep telling yourself that.
[ARCHIVE NOTE: This exchange was subsequently clipped by Marmaduke Media. The resulting cat-related social thread continued separately.]
HIRO:
Someone please take these people to dinner before they create an international incident.
MAJA:
Too late.
[Recording ends.]
